If the future ever comes, some things will have to be redefined.  Re-evaluated and re-assessed.  We — the world — only you and I are discussing this now, but let’s hope the other planet-denizens will follow us as closely as they can — must refine our global parameters, whatever they are.

What on earth am I blithering about?  You are quite right to ask.  Yesterday my young niece pointed at the sky and said “airplane in clouds,” which surprised me by its rarity, the flying object I mean, not the clouds.

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now, but how long will coming generations be able to say (or sing) that with any regularity?  Maybe we need to redefine a plane as a freight carrier holding one or two passengers travelling to only one or two destinations with almost empty beaches and lots of quarantine-only hotels.

My description of a ‘colander’ as someone who arrived on the same plane as me has, I fear, passed its sell-by date as a joke.  It simply won’t fly any more.

From now on, “I’m feeling fine,” might just mean “I haven’t got coronavirus.”  And “I got a  second jab last week,” will be a more common boast than, “I got a second Jag last week.”  Unfortunately.

Perhaps because I am an inveterate crossword puzzler — notice I don’t say solver — I like to think I am as finely attuned as most to ambiguity in the sound of words.  When it comes to entendres, make mine a double.  A ‘seizure’ to me sounds like an alcoholic Roman emperor.  Whose hangover is the wrath of grapes, etc.  (‘Etc.’ is an abbreviation that makes people think you know much more than you do.  I occasionally find it useful.)

A mask has ceased to be primarily a dramatic entertainment, a conditioning treatment for hair, a piece of music, a protective covering worn in fencing, a Greek actor’s hollow human head, a hunting trophy, part of a dragonfly,  or a costume accessory for the Lone Ranger.  (Am I the last remaining human to know that Tonto was played on TV by a Mohawk called Jay Silverheels?)

No no; a mask is now what we all must don at times, from the lowliest sinner in a confessional box (largely pointless there) to the highest-flying airline pilot in the skies, when he wants to stretch his legs.  It has always been a useful word for certain purposes, but now it has reached its apogee, and is probably with us for the foreseeable future.  Etc.