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LOTS OF LOVE - LAUGH OUT LOUD?

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Barrie Mahoney / 2010-03-06 12:00:17

‘Twitters from  the Atlantic’ - by Barrie Mahoney

Barrie Mahoney was a teacher, head teacher and school inspector in the UK, as well as a reporter in Spain, before moving to the Canary Islands as a newspaper editor. He is still enjoying life in the sun as a writer and author.

 “Lots of Love” or “Laugh Out Loud”?

Forget learning to speak Spanish! It is Textonyms or Textese, also known as SMS language, chatspeak, texting language or txt talk, that we should really be learning as the new language in our newly adopted country.

It all used to be so beautifully simple. In the old days it was rather easy. As a schoolboy, if one was feeling particularly lovesick, passionate or saucy we would blush deeply and include something like SWALK (“Sealed With A Loving Kiss) on the back of the envelope containing our illicit message and wicked intentions. Indeed if one was feeling especially naughty, or totally outrageous, we would write ‘BURMA’ on the back of the envelope. (“Be Undressed and Ready My Angel”). Straightforward and to the point, wasn’t it? We all knew where we were and there would be no misunderstandings, right?

Goodness knows what the jargon of today really means. I love to receive text messages, and particularly those from one of my friends in the UK, but I have to confess that I rarely understand them. Although a perfectly competent speller in real life, the dear boy suddenly seems to enter a world of total linguistic incompetence, nay insanity, when sending text messages to me. It is not only that they read as total nonsense, but also they don’t seem to save on many words or letters. In any case, do mobile phone companies really charge for the number of letters that are sent nowadays or is it that we all need an excuse to reduce the English language to the barest of bare bones in order to communicate effectively on these modern devices?

I have, in the past, been very pleasantly surprised to receive messages from texters and emailers ending with LOL, which I had assumed was a term of endearment, if not affection, meaning lots of love - endless affection that, if you think about it, is rather nice.  These are very pleasant to receive and make one realise that the world isn’t such a bad place after all.  However, my naive bubble has at last burst and I can confess that I have been saddened to discover that these promises of endless, unending affection are not what they seem.  Actually, it means “laugh out loud” or “loads of laughs”, which I don’t find at all amusing. It is highly disappointing to at last face the reality that all my friendly texters didn't actually love me after all.

Yes, I know that anyone over the age of 40 is now regarded as a boring old fart with one foot in the grave, but my plea is that I do try. I do understand ‘gr8’ means “great”, ‘ru’ means “are you?” and that ‘cryn’ means “crying”, but why not crayon? See my problem?  In my youth we often used to use the expression ‘TTFN’ - maybe following the expressions of some comedian of the day, I cannot remember whom, which meant, quite simply, “Ta, ta for now”, simple eh? Nowadays, modern texters even use a combination of jumbled letters in their text messages which are little more than secret code that would have made the secret agents very proud. So if they say ‘ttyl, lol’ they probably mean "talk to you later, lots of love" not "talk to you later, laugh out loud"; and if someone says "omg, lol" they probably mean "oh my god, laugh out loud" not "oh my god, lots of love". Are you confused as well?

It seems that for words that have no common abbreviation, texters simply remove the vowels from a word, and the reader is forced to interpret a string of consonants by adding the vowels when they receive the message. So "dictionary" becomes "dctnry", or "keyboard" becomes "kybrd". It is up to the frustrated reader to interpret the abbreviated words within the context in which it is used.
Yes, I know that language develops and grows and that it is natural for children and young people to play with and adapt language for their own use.  We all did it, except that we didn't send text messages, just verbal abuse, which was so much pleasanter. Context is the clue to all this business of trying to read and interpret txtese, and is probably the reason why I shall do my best never to use it. Just imagine the problems that we could get ourselves into! BBFN (bye, bye for now)!

If you enjoyed this article, take a look at Barrie’s website: www.barriemahoney.com or read his latest novel, ‘Journeys and Jigsaws’ (ISBN: 9781843865384).

© Barrie Mahoney