You Can’t Be Serious – Beefing up our blurb …

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Mrs Dexter
Mrs Dexter

In this age of enlightenment, even the most outrageous view has to have an airing. It is therefore about time that the biased, prejudiced, narrow-minded folks amongst us have somebody to represent them.

This column can be a platform for the much maligned bigots: just call us the up-trodden – as against the down-trodden. We are entitled (the most used and abused word bandied around these days) to have an ignorant and biased say about whatever we like … or don’t like.

Let’s reveal the type I am here: When I was a drinker I had no time for those who didn’t drink. That some of these non-drinkers changed into nice guys when I sobered up is totally irrelevant. Right now, as a non-gay man, I firmly believe that gays are over-represented on RTE and in the media, No doubt, if I ever go gay, I will change my mind … same as with the drink.

Do you see where this is going? No? …. Well actually, I’m not too sure myself – but I get paid to fill this space.

I don’t trust vegetarians, although I was once a friend with one! If, in my dotage and perhaps after getting a bang on the head, I were to be converted to vegan, it is possible I could feel differently. Right now it is my opinion that the man who never felt the pleasure of using a steak-knife, is not a fit man to make crucial decisions on anything.

Some non-meat eaters are not too hard to be around, because they just keep their defects to themselves and eat their greens and beans without commentary. Other vegans wait for the slightest opportunity to adopt a moral superior arrogance as they pontificate about the rights of the fowl and the fishes. ‘Animal murderers’ and the likes. Once again I quote, ‘Confucius say people who like animals too much like people too little.’

All vegetarians are not the same. There are total vegans who exclude all kinds of meat, as well as animal-based products, such as milk, butter and eggs. Lacto-vegetarians will exclude the meat, but partake of milk and milk products: Then we have the Lacto-ova- vegetarians who will chance the egg as well as the milk products.

They are all wrong – although even in the throes of our bias, we give the others the right to eat what they like. Remember though, that half the population of the world has never had a full belly … of anything

Archaeological evidence shows that eating meat has been an essential part of human evolution for two million years. Most of the earth’s surface is not suitable for growing grain, fruit or vegetables that humans can eat, but nearly everywhere the local habitat sustains animal life. A lot of middling land is only good for the rough grazing of cattle, sheep, goats and pigs.

Eating meat is not cruelty to animals. The animals are killed humanely – unlike the ‘animal jungle’ out there.  The big fish eats the little fish and I eat the big fish. The chicken drags the worm slowly out of the soil and eats it. I eat the chicken … if the fox doesn’t get it first and subject it to a horrible death. Every organism on earth dies or is killed at some point so that other organisms can live. This applies to plants as well – and what have vegetarians to say to those researchers who claim that plants feel fear?

The first bit of bad news for the vegans is that they don’t live any longer than the rest of us. While still alive, their body is generally lacking iron, calcium, zinc, vitamins D and B12, riboflavin and very often protein as well. Unless our committed vegetarian stuffs his mouth with vitamin pills, he might not even live as long as the rest of us; could be miserable – and will never experience the pleasure of picking the last bit of meat off a T-bone. (Or from between his teeth!)

So, we in the narrow-minded, biased, uninformed, prejudiced and nasty wing of the human race do concede that it is OK for our vegetarian friends to munch away on his lettuce leaf, as long as it’s OK for me to tease my palate with the crispy bits of beef from a succulent roast covered in mouth-watering gravy.

‘And now this …!’ Not only am I biased and prejudiced against vegans, but I have to declare a vested interest here. I have a stake in the steak! Dexter beef is the best in the world and I am a producer. Today I was nominated as the Dexter representative on the Irish National Rare Breeds Society.

Don’t Forget – Having no food to eat will take your mind off other troubles.

 

 

 

 

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